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My experience of COVID 19

Posted on December 30, 2021

Dr. Tanushree Sandipta Rath

Asst. Prof O&G, IMS & SUM Hospital, Bhubaneswar


11th march 2020, unforgetable date in the history of mankind. A day when WHO blowed the whistle and declared COVID19 infection as a global pandemic. What was generally considered as a disease of the Chinese people, who ate just anything and everything…never did any one of us imagined that we would soon be battered so badly by the first wave of the deadly pandemic. It really did not strike me that before that morning that the covid pandemic would strike us with this magnitude. it was along with our morning cup of ginger tea that my husband showed me some videos of the ghost city of Wuhan under lockdown and shared with me the news of lockdown in Wuhan province and some European countries. I thought “how is this possible? A lockdown?? How will people earn? Are we not supposed to visit our near and dear ones? What about our vacation plan that summer?…and a multitude of other questions.

Gradually within a day or two, the reality sunk in….yes we are probably heading towards a lockdown in India too. My first concern was to do massive online and offline buying and stockpiling essentials for my family of six, which then consisted of my old father in law, my two  children, one of them being a toddler, and three adults. Just when I had just successfully accomplished my task I received a mail from my hospital administration that I am supposed to report for covid duty for a fortnight and the remain under quarantine for another fortnight at their provided accommodation. Ofcourse a handsome amount of remuneration was promised , but that was the least alluring of all. My concern was about my children…who would take care of them while I was gone for almost 1 month…who would cook in my house in my continual absence from home and with no maids coming due to lockdown….what would happen if I came back and my family members contract the infection from me?…who would cater to the needs of my old parents in the middle of a lockdown, who stay all alone some 8 kms away from my house…and worst of all, would I ever come back home or be wrapped in plastic bags to be incinerated in some crematorium by some strangers? These thought haunted me as I prepped to face the unknown unseen deadly enemy in the next 14 days. I sent away my children to my parents’ house, my father in law to my brother in laws’ house. Even I asked my husband to shift for some days with my father in law, but he refused. Then I realized even he, being a neurosurgeon, had the same apprehensions of being a super spreader to our family members. He decided to stay back alone at our house and manage by himself…thanks to the online services of Swiggy and Zomato.

I packed my bags after my children left with my mother. My husband dropped me at the hostel provided for accommodation. As I bid him goodbye, I just whispered a secret prayer that by Gods grace, let me go back soon to see my family again. The next day I set off to the covid hospital for reporting on duty. Anxious relatives thronged the gates of the hospital for some news of their relatives admitted. On reaching there I was asked to drink generous amounts of ORS solution before donning PPE. At first I thought this was an exaggeration and did not pay much attention to this detail, but instantly regretted it once I was done with the donning. I was laden with almost two to three layers of thick impermeable plastics in the name of PPE, starting from multiple layers of plastic shoe covers to multiple gloves, caps ,face covers and face shields. It was a near choking experience for me, as I myself gasped for breath inside my face masks with an open mouth. my face shield was becoming foggy due to the moisture in  my breathe, but I could do nothing more than just maneouvre my way around with a foggy vision, without cleaning it, lest my hand gets in contact with my eyes and I contract the infection. As I entered inside the hospital, I saw many patients taking a casual walk in the corridor, or sitting in groups and gossiping. I thanked God for his graciousness that after all covid isn’t all about what is being portrayed in the media. But little did I know things were about to change as I entered a little more inside. There was suffering…pure suffering…among the rich and poor alike. There were complaints to be addressed to, exhausted nurses and doctors alike who equally gasped for breathe like me. We had literally to shout out to each other to communicate since the PPEs and face masks and shields muffled our voices.

There were patients everywhere, some suffering, some sulking. Patients were being deprived of the basic treatment of their underlying diseases and all focus was to keep them in isolation, give the recommended covid medications and send them off for further treatment once their isolation period is over. Some patients were really agitated and agonized that they were being held in captive for no reason , since they did not have any symptoms, and they were being treated with only multivitamins. people were pleading for discharge certificate to go back home. At one point of time I was surrounded by loud applause of all the patients and I saw an old frail man walking out of the hospital room. On enquiry the duty nurse on rounds with me said that this man and his teen aged daughter were both admitted some days back. his daughter succumbed last night and today he himself was being discharged. The clap was to cheer him up since he was able to defeat covid19. I did not know how to react… should I be sad because an old man lost his teenaged daughter or should I be happy that despite all that he had gone through, he was able to return home. Nevertheless I was feeling proud of the fellow feeling of all the inmates of the room for their team spirit and collective empathy for each other. In another instance an old lady of around 60 year with a thick line of red vermillion over her parted hair, kept repeatedly asking me about her husband’s health status, who was also admitted in another room of the hospital. I could not get any information about her husband and assured her that I would return with some news the next day. On moving on to the next bed, I met her brother in law, who told me in whispers that her husband, his brother was dead two days back and that she was deliberately not informed of his demise. I felt sorry for that lady and helpless at the hands of the situation and feared to face that lady again.

I was dumfounded by the question of a software techie who was admitted in that ward. His question was legitimate enough and it literally silenced me in the absence of any valid answers. He asked me that the Govt is advocating a six feet distance between two people to avoid infection, then why in the hospital all the beds are laid parallely with less that one foot distance bewween two beds? Will that not cause an aggravation of his symptoms, or does he not stand a risk to contract a more serious infection? I literally had no answers and expressed my helplessness in matters of the administration.

There were instances where I had to choose between patients as to who required oxygen inhalation on priority basis, since there were hardly 2-3 oxygen cylinders for a hall of 150-200 patients. I had to ration out oxygen cylinders between patients. Then there was the dilemma of missing patients…either some succumbed overnight or some crashed and were shifted to ICU beds overnight…and that information took time to be updated. So I literally had to call out several names at the top of my voice to be heard clearly by a hall full of people. Seeing my despair, some young volunteers  , who were themselves admitted but otherwise healthy, called out the names loud enough for me. In a way it was of great help for me as I was already gasping to catch a breath after an hour long round among patients. I really thanked them from the bottom of my heart for showing such a kind gesture towards me.

In spite of the limited resources, the Govt was benevolent enough to provide three times a day healthy packeted meals for all the patients inside. But the grumbling never stops…some patients complained about the temperature of the food at the time of handout. I was constantly witnessing an increase in the improvisions made by the Govt, day by day during my tenure at the covid hospital. There were increased sanctions of medicines, oxygen cylinders, ultrasound machines, x-ray machines, covid pathology labs and finally a dedicated covid operation theatre. It was really a commendable progress on the part of the administration.

Slowly and steadily the days passed and I was about to go into quarantine for next 14 days and  take the rt-pcr test myself before returning home. I was half way through my quarantine period and was slowly recovering from the muscle aches due to dehydration from the covid duty, when I received a distress call from my husband at 2 am one night. He was having a severe headache and was having chest tightness. His heart rate was below normal levels and his oxygen saturation was below acceptable limits. He had been regularly visiting me in the hostel premises in my duty off hours, despite my advice not to do so. And although I tried to convince him not to come visit me, I was somewhat happy about him doing so, since I felt very lonely at the hostel. We always maintained a good distance between us while talking to each other in the hostel premises, but now it seemed that may be this is the cause of his present symptoms and perhaps he has somehow contracted the infection from me. I felt very guilty and was very scared about the consequences. I asked him to come to my hospital casualty straight away to get tests done. He was all alone at home and drove his car  at around 3 am in the morning and reached the casualty. We had some blood tests and ECG done for him. With somewhat reassuring results, he headed back home. The next day I asked for an immediate RTPCR test for myself, in order to br released from the quarantine. It was negative and I returned home to face new challenges with many questions in my mind about the balance in my roles as a covid warrior and a wife and mother.

Categories: Advice

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